I Am My Worst Enemy...

 

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,

By Adriana Schalkwijk Ribeiro

Life is but an empty dream!

For the soul is dead that slumbers,

and things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!

And the grave is not its goal;

Dust thou art; to dust returnest,

Was not spoken of the soul.”

― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

I WANT TO LOVE, BUT I SPREAD HATRED: of things, people and places, criticizing and despising

I WANT COMMUNITY, BUT I LIKE INDIVIDUALISM: my own room, time and place

I WANT RESPECT AND SUCCESS, BUT I LACK THE HUMILITY AND DRIVE: arrogantly believing I know best, not listening to advice or laughing at someone else’s mistakes

I WANT IT ‘NOW’ and forget the delight of waiting and of surprise

I WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD but do not understand much (and many times do not even care) of what my neighbor is going through

I WANT ATTENTION, BUT ONLY TO MY OWN PROBLEMS AND ACHIEVEMENTS

I WANT OT REACH FOR THE NOBEL PRIZE, BUT I WOLD FORGET THE SHOULDERS OF THOSE ON WHICH I STAND without whose work I would have never reached the top

I WANT TO HAVE PEACE: WORLD PEACE, but desire excitement, sadness and gruesome news better than a peace mission’s report and forget that the basis of it is forgiveness, comprehension, and a loving my neighbor (brother/sister, husband/wife) as myself

I WANT TO BE RICH, but forget that to be so I need to have people who want to ‘buy’ my product/service, and that for this, they need money too

I WAN TO LIVE IN A GOOD NEIGHBORHOOD, BUT I ONLY TAKE CARE OF MY OWN HOUSE/BUSINESS/PEOPLE forgetting that to build a ‘community’ I need to ‘build up’ a whole neighborhood

I WANT TO SERVE, BUT FORGET/do not want THE BLISTERS and discomfort they bring

I DREAM, BUT WHEN I ARRIVE I FIND FAULT – dreaming is better than arriving?

I WANT TO WORK, BUT WORK HALF HEARTEDLY. I do not want the sore back, wakeful nights or tedious effort

I WANT A DOG, BUT NOT ITS EXCREMENTS

I WANT A HOUSE, BUT NOT ITS REGULAR CLEANING

I WANT TO EAT, BUT NOT THE COOKING AND DISHWASHING

I WANT TO DRESS, BUT NOT THE WASHING

I WANT THE SLEEP, BUT NOT THE WAKING

I WANT THE GARDEN, BUT NOT THE GARDENING

I WANT THE PENT HOUSE, BUT NOT ITS PAYMENTS

I WANT THE ‘FIT LOOK’ BBUT NOT THE WORK OUT

I WANT THE BABY, BUT NOT THE DIAPERS AND SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

I WANT THE HUSBAND, BUT NOT THE RESPONSABILITIES OF A WIFE

I WANT…

Lord, how will I survive?

Give me thankfulness, humility and self-denial necessary to be able to find real ‘joy’